Sympathy for the Devil
by QuirkyRevelations
Summary: Pretend that Reid never killed Tobias yet was still rescued by the team. After over a year of struggling with the aftermath of his kidnapping, Reid is suddenly met with the prospect of facing his trauma when he and the team travel to Georgia for an interview. He learns that Tobias is institutionalized and wonders whether or not to pay him a visit.


**Okay, so I've been contemplating for a while whether or not to write this and I decided to go for it. I hope you like it. I'm sorry if anyone has already done something like this, but I had no clue. I haven't seen anyone write something like this, but if they have, then again I'm sorry but I wasn't aware. Let me know if I did. Otherwise, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't Criminal Minds, but if I did, I'd be rich and married to either Shemar Moore or Matthew Gray Gubler XD**

**Warnings: some language, _mild_ violence, spoilers to Season 2 "Revelations" and very briefly "Jones"**

**By the way, the title of this came from a song from the Rolling Stones. I love "Sympathy for the Devil"! It came from "Revelations" and I've been into it ever since I first watched the episode! I thought it would be fitting for the title :) I don't own the song though...just saying.**

* * *

Part 1:

So this is how it was all going to end. After being restrained in a chair for over two days being beaten and injected with the hellish yet heavenly drug Dilaudid, his fate was finally decided. He was going to die; his death sentencing was given by the archangel once he confessed his sin of dishonoring his mother. Now young FBI profiler Dr. Spencer Reid was being forced to dig his own grave outside in the cemetery while the 'Charles' personality of Tobias Hankel watched over him closely, holding a knife in one hand and had the revolver in the pocket of his jacket.

As Spencer was digging, shaking from the cold and from fear, he reflected on his sin. Even after all these years, he still felt guilty for sending his mother Diana Reid to a mental institution. He had known for years that she wasn't well and that her schizophrenia was getting to her but it still stung to have those men forcibly take her away. She had cried out to him, begging him to not let them take her away and pleading with the men to let her stay. It was awful to watch, especially when he looked into her eyes; they were filled with hurt, denial, confusion, and –worst of all- betrayal. Reid had to keep reminding himself that it was for the best and that the hospital was a better place for her than home. The nurses made sure she took her medication, they were never rough with her when she sometimes lost control, she read to the other patients, and from what Spencer could tell, she was doing well there.

And yet, there was a heavy burden that weighed down Dr. Reid as he weakly dug the grave. While he shoveled dirt aside, he tearfully thought about his mother now. He wondered who would take care of her when he died. He doubted his father William Reid would; after all, if he never stepped up before, why should he start? Reid wondered who out of the BAU team would tell Diana Reid that her son was tortured for two days straight by an unsub with multiple personalities then murdered?

Reid shook his head slightly. No. No, he can't think like that; he can't just assume that he's going to die. With the last video feed that Tobias sent to the team, Reid had made sure that he gave the team a clue to his whereabouts. He made sure to encode the message in a way that his unit chief Aaron Hotchner would understand. Now he and the others would have to come; they just had to. Spencer can't give up just yet. He needs to survive a bit longer. But how?

Amidst his thoughts, Reid was aware of Tobias glaring intently at him, his eyes showing the disgust and hatred he had for the young man. Reid involuntarily shivered. Those eyes had glared at him when he was accused of being a liar, when his foot was beaten with a log, when he was punished for not confessing his sins, when he was harshly called a sinner and a devil, and especially when he was called pitiful once it was discovered that the real Tobias was shooting him up with Dilaudid. Of the two other personalities Tobias possessed, Charles was cruel, ruthless, and downright terrifying. His violent nature shook Reid to his core and had dominant control over the submissive Tobias.

"I ought to bury you alive in there." Reid shakily looked up briefly when 'Charles' addressed him with a cold tone of voice. "Give you time to think about what you've done."

"I know what I've done." Reid replied, his throat constricted with a lump of guilt, making his words sound strained.

"Don't talk back to me," 'Charles' immediately growled in return. He paused for a moment, pointing the knife at Reid. "Dig." Spencer reluctantly continued to dig while unknown to both him and Tobias, the BAU was at the cabin where Reid was recently held, searching for him. When they realized that he wasn't there, they began to spread out in the woods.

_I have to get out of here. _Reid thought to himself. _I need to get away from him. Maybe I can hit him over the head with the shovel and use that chance to run._ The thought almost seemed appealing to Reid yet his body didn't seem to agree with him. He was exhausted from the lack of food, water, sleep, and not to mention the weariness from the beatings he received and the amounts of Dilaudid still lingering in his system. His shoveling was slow and without purpose. At the rate he was digging, it would take a while for him to finish. Reid didn't want to die. Even if he wasn't so physically fatigued, Spencer would try to put off his death to the best of his abilities, despite his fear of Tobias.

The supposed inevitability of death overwhelmed Reid as he briefly stopped his digging. He attempted to catch his breath to keep his head from reeling at the thought. 'Charles' was dissatisfied. "What are you stopping for?" he demanded angrily. Without a word, Reid choked back a sob and resumed digging.

_This is how it's going to end. I'm going to die out here. I'm not strong enough to fight back. _Reid suppressed a whimper at his thoughts and held back silent tears. Where was the team? Would they find him in time or would it be already too late? Reid still desperately clung to the small sliver of hope that the team had gotten his message and that they were on their way now. He just needed to buy himself some time somehow.

"Dig faster!" The impatience in 'Charles's' voice forced Reid out of his thoughts.

_But I can't!_ "I'm not strong enough." Spencer whimpered as he looked fearfully at Tobias.

With a noise of frustration, 'Charles' angrily took off his jacket and advanced in the hole with Reid. "You're weak!" _I know I am._ Spencer thought to himself as Tobias yanked the shovel out of his hand and started digging the grave himself. Once Reid had clambered out of the hole, he noticed a light in the distance and some blurry figures walking in the distance. The team! They made it! Spencer was filled with relief and he almost burst into tears of joy. They hadn't forgotten him! He was finally going to be saved!

Unfortunately, Tobias noticed the lights as well and turned to look at them. Fearing that his chance at freedom was slipping, Reid immediately grabbed the gun from the crumpled jacket on the floor and aimed it at his captor. This action infuriated the man and he immediately stood up out of the grave and pointed the knife at Reid. Now in any normal situation, Reid would have mused that there was a minimal chance of a knife upholding against a gun, but he was too terrified to think of anything in that moment. If Tobias were to get ahold of him again, he was most likely going to experience the beatings all over again and his attempts at survival would have been in vain. Panic screamed through Reid while his hands shook with the gun. It only had one bullet since 'Raphael' had tried his hand at Russian Roulette and tested "God's will" on Reid. However, it was his only shot and he was going to make it count.

"Only one bullet in that gun, boy." 'Charles' was obviously unaware that he, Raphael, and Tobias were just one person and not three separate people. He lunged for Reid, knife still in hand when Reid pulled the trigger. A shot rang out into the forest followed by a loud yell of pain, shattering the eerie stillness that hung in the air. The BAU team instantly froze when they heard the shot, refusing to believe the worst as they hurried towards the sound.

Reid had briefly squeezed his eyes shut when he shot the revolver and silently prayed that he hit the chamber with the single bullet. Since he was lucky, he cautiously opened his eyes and gasped when he saw that Tobias had sunk to the ground, clutching his bleeding shoulder. No, no not his shoulder! He was aiming for the heart! How could he miss?! Reid uttered a small sound of terror while Tobias' face twisted with surprise, pain, and intense fury.

Seething viciously, Tobias glared at Reid, "You goddamned sinner! Look what you've done! God will make you suffer for this!" Then to Reid's horror, he started making his way to him despite the excessive amount of blood staining his shirt and the obvious pain it was causing him. Reid let out a scream and started scrambling backwards. _No! No! NO! This can't be happening! I can't go through this again! NO!_

Before Tobias could lay a hand on Reid, a loud angry voice yelled, "FBI! Don't you fucking move Hankel!" Reid cried out with joy and relief once he recognized Agent Derek Morgan's voice and saw his muscular figure run towards them with his gun raised at Tobias. Soon, Reid and Hankel were surrounded by both cops and FBI agents alike, all with their guns aimed at Tobias. Reid saw the intense determination of his teammates and was overjoyed. They were here! The nightmare is over!

Tobias looked both startled and angry as he eyed all the people. Reid took that chance to immediately back up more, scramble up to  
his feet, and allow himself to be pulled into the crowd by Jason Gideon, his mentor and father figure. Tobias weighed his options for a moment before very reluctantly lowering his knife and threw it to the side with his arms raised over his head. Without a second to spare, Morgan rushed to him, roughly put his arms behind him, and handcuff his wrists, completely ignoring the fact that Tobias had just been shot in the shoulder.

Almost instantly, the police grabbed Tobias and began to lead him away. However, Tobias turned around and glanced at Reid with a calm expression on his face. Spencer instantly realized that Charles was replaced by Raphael once more and shuddered as the archangel spoke to him in his usual monotone voice. "God shall not forget you sinner. He is always watching and will never forgive the evil you have done. He shall finish your sentence when the time comes. You shall not be given redemption no matter how much you repent. Remember that sinner. Your time will come to die and not even God will ease your suffering as you burn in hell." Then he was officially taken away, leaving Reid shaking with fear.

However, it was over. Tobias was caught and Reid was alive. Nothing Tobias said could take away the fact that Reid had survived and now he was safe with his team. He momentarily forgot about his unease and enjoyed the fact that he was okay. JJ was crying with joy at his rescue and kept muttering her apologies as she hugged him tightly. Yet he assured her that she was not to blame and that he was just glad to see her. Then Spencer hugged Hotchner, thanking him for understanding the clue. His eyes were filled with unshed tears as his team led him out of the forest, with Gideon supporting him all the way. Spencer took in all the looks of relief, gratitude, and pure happiness on each of his team members' faces and smiled to himself. For the first time in two days, he felt safe, calm, and at ease. His ever-racing mind pushed away the statistics about the aftermath of a traumatic event and attempted to ignore the dark, demon-like presence that lurked in his subconscious, begging to be satisfied with the soothing drug that had become accustomed to Spencer's being.

* * *

Part 2:

One year, three months, two days. That's how long it's been since Reid had last seen Tobias. The last time since Reid ever heard the threatening growl of Charles, the apathetic tone of Raphael, the gentle voice of Tobias. The last time that Reid was held captive and beaten on camera. The last time that he ever had to endure Charles' punishments and lectures on sin and took the blows that knocked him senseless. The last time Raphael had coldly told him of God's will. The last time that Tobias tried to help him by injecting him with Dilaudid. However, it wasn't over. Within that time period since his ordeal, Spencer Reid struggled.

For a while Reid tried to wrap his head around what had happened to him but just couldn't seem to accept it. He tried to face the truth yet was unable to come to terms with it. Spencer couldn't understand why this happened to him. He looked for reasons yet couldn't find any. He repeatedly said that he brought it upon himself yet argued that it wasn't anyone's fault but Tobias'. He struggled internally and suffered nightmares every night since his return. Reid kept thinking of the many books he had read on trauma and knew that the confusion and the nightmares were normal. However, his knowledge on the subject didn't stop Reid's subconscious from waking him up every night in a cold sweat and breathing heavily after hearing voices screaming about sin in his ears while he smelled fish guts and liver. And it certainly didn't help when Reid sobbed every time he wrote a letter to his mother, the guilt still suffocating him.

He tried to move on, he tried to forget, he tried to lead his normal life again, but it was impossible. Spencer was haunted by Tobias, sin, burning fish heart and liver, guilt, pain, fear, death. Finally he just couldn't take it anymore. He needed an escape. That's when he turned to Dilaudid. For days after his rescue, he tried to ignore his craving for it and pushed away any thoughts about it. However, it haunted his dreams and coaxed him during the day to just let go and forget his pain. Finally, Reid managed to find some and buy it from some shady drug dealer and immediately became addicted. He injected himself when he could and enjoyed the blissful numbing that came with it every time. Deep down he knew that it was unhealthy and wrong, but he didn't care. He wanted to get away from the nightmares, the memories, the pain, the pitied looks he got from his coworkers, everything. He wanted to forget it all.

The regular injecting took a toll on Reid. He became increasingly irritable, testy, and harsh and he even took it out on his team members sometimes. They noticed something was wrong with him yet never called him out on it since they just assumed he needed time to recover. However, as he got worse, Hotchner and Gideon seemed to figure it out their own. Once on a case in New Orleans, Reid acted out and even skipped out on an interview, prompting Gideon to have a talk with him. The older man had given the young man advice on how to deal with it and made Spencer see that he was falling apart. Ever since then, Reid realized that he needed to stop the Dilaudid and forced himself to stop. Needless to say, it wasn't easy.

Once Reid officially quit the drugs, he suffered the effects of withdrawal. He became sick with both desire and refusal for the drug yet made sure that he never touched it again. Unfortunately, sometimes he was too weak and let the desire control him. Other times he managed to ignore it and lock the drug up in the medicine cabinet of his apartment. It called out to him every second of every day when he refused to inject himself. Its call was loudest whenever Reid thought of Tobias again and what he went through for those two days. Even at night when he dreamt of being trapped in that god awful chair again, looking into the eyes of a murderous killer, he couldn't resist succumbing to the drug's peaceful, numbing calm.

However, Spencer had enough. He allowed Gideon, Hotchner, and eventually Morgan to help him and together they helped him get clean completely. Reid celebrated when he managed his first month without Dilaudid and was happy when that one month began increasing. Slowly yet surely, Reid's desire for an escape left him and eventually crawled out of his system. Ever since then, he's never touched the drug or any other narcotics. He was proud of himself when he managed his normal life again. Of course the memory of his ordeal stayed with him and every now and then he had a nightmare about Tobias. But now he dealt with it without the need for Dilaudid and he moved on. Sometimes he thought of Tobias and wondered what became of him. Surely he was getting treatment for his personality disorder yet still had to be locked up for all the murders he committed.

Anyways, one year, three months, and two days later when Hotchner was asked to interview a delusional killer in Atlanta, Georgia before he was given the chair. The unit chief had accepted and asked Morgan and Reid to come along with him. When he informed Reid of wanting to take him along, it was as if time had stopped. Atlanta, Georgia. Spencer was aware of how long it's been since he last went there and knew what memories laid out for him there. Even hearing Hotch say the name of the city made Reid shiver slightly and was suddenly aware of the knot of anxiety that had crept up in his stomach. As his boss explained the situation, Reid could sense Hotchner's discomfort at asking. In fact, the only reason Hotch was really asking was because the serial killer was unstable and Reid had extensive knowledge on mental illnesses.

Reid took a few moments to think about actually going out there. He knew he wasn't obligated, Hotchner could just take only Morgan, but something told Reid to go. So once Hotchner finished what he had to say, Reid immediately accepted. His unit chief was dubious, but was somewhat assured by Reid's urging that he'll be fine. Besides, it's not like he's interviewing Tobias-if he was actually still alive. So there he was the next day at the institution, standing outside the interview room watching Hotch and Morgan talking with Tyson Filcher, a man who murdered seven brunette women because he thought that sacrificing them would grant him immortality. Through the one-way window, he observed the men conversing and silently noted Filcher's behavior.

The man was delusional and very mentally unstable. Although he didn't have strange voices in his head urging him to commit these crimes, Filcher's mindset allowed him to believe that what he was doing was normal and that he deserved to be immortal; the man believed himself to be a God of some sort yet was restrained in his 'human form'. Hence, he thought that offering the 'other gods' worthy 'sacrifices' would give him immortality and would therefore 'release him'.

As Reid stood there listening to the man go on about how he sliced up those women to 'appease the higher gods', he started feeling sick. He had woken up early that morning, jerked awake from a horrible nightmare and felt like hell. It was as if his mind was psychologically telling him to not go. However, Spencer had dragged himself out of bed and went on the jet with Hotchner and Morgan to Atlanta. He was given the chance to back out, but he refused. So now a sense of dread was starting to overwhelm him as he felt dizzy.

In the middle of the interview, Reid felt a wave of nausea wash over him as there was prolonged talk from Filcher about gods and what powers they wield. _You know what this is? This is God's will…I'm merely an instrument of God. _Feeling bile rise up to his throat, Reid promptly exited the room and headed out into the hallway. Reid made his way to the bathroom, briefly vomited in the toilet of a nearby stall, and then splashed some water on his face once he was finished.

The cool liquid somewhat calmed the genius and he pulled himself together. This was not a time to break down; the team needs him for that interview. He needed to maintain his professional figure and focus on whatever Filcher wanted to ramble on about. After taking a deep breath to loosen the knot of dread within him, Reid washed his mouth, exited the bathroom, and made his way back to the interview room.

On the way back, Reid went down the hallway and got a bit lost. He walked around aimlessly for a while before going through a room with a large window. There were a couple of guards lounging about, watching whatever was behind the window. Reid paid them no mind but asked one of them where the interview room was. Once he was given directions, Reid thanked him and was just about to walk out of the room when something in the window caught his eye. Stopping for a moment, Spencer realized that beyond the glass was a huge cafeteria-like area where a bunch of patients were lounging about.

Reid watched with interest as some of the people sat down eating while others were merely pushing around the food on their plates. Some weren't even eating and were doing mindless activities such as sitting, playing checkers, wringing their hands, or even staring off into space. Studying the various expressions on the different patients, Reid could easily tell they were institutionalized for a reason. Many had crazed, wild looks on their faces while other had faraway looks that seemed to border on instability.

As Spencer let his eyes roam across the room, they were captured by a familiar, scruffy face sitting alone at a table in the far back. The figure was of average height and weight and was wearing a light green shirt with matching loose sweats, the traditional uniform of the institution's patients. Light brown eyes looked uncertainly across the room before resting on the food in front of him, his shaggy brown hair barely covering his face. Reid hitched a breath once he recognized the individual; _it was Tobias Hankel!_

Reid had to blink a few times to really convince himself that this wasn't a trick of the light; Tobias was really there. Despite that over a year had gone by, he still looked pretty much the same: he still had an unkempt beard and mustache growing and he looked just as tense as Reid remembered him. _I'm sorry if he hurt you…It helps…Trust me…Listen to me, it's not worth fighting…Don't tell me it doesn't make it better...He always wins. _Suddenly the room began to spin for the young profiler and he just couldn't get out of there fast enough. He almost tripped when he ran out of the room, leaving the guards to look questioningly after him.

* * *

How had he come to this point? He, Morgan, and Hotchner were supposed to be on the jet heading back to Quantico this moment-not back at the institution again. Reid was practically trembling as a few guards led them through the familiar white hallways from the day before. He and the others were only supposed to come once for one interview and yet Filcher seemed to have other plans; the agents had gotten a call early this morning from the institution, claiming that Filcher had one more thing to say before they went. Hotch and Morgan weren't too pleased with the thought, but reluctantly decided to go back again. Although Reid hadn't told them about Tobias, they sensed his discomfort but chose not to comment about it and didn't offer him the chance to stay behind. It was as if fate was toying with Reid.

Hotch had told Reid to wait outside again, which contented the young man; it gave him time to think. Ever since he saw Tobias, Reid couldn't stop thinking of him. He was truly curious and partially frightened of the truth behind his condition. Did he still believe he was both Charles Hankel and Raphael? And if so, do they mistreat the man? Reid was practically haunted with curiosity and it troubled him. Why should he care about Tobias?

And yet Reid found himself questioning if he should go visit him. He wouldn't have to talk to him; he could just see how he interacts with the other prisoners of the institution. The thought was both self-satisfying and terrifying at the same time. Should he really visit Tobias? Or should he just ignore the fact that he's here and move on?

But then again, _can_ he really move on? If he doesn't learn about Tobias, would he spend the rest of his life regretting it? Will he be doomed to wonder what if? Reid nodded thoughtfully to no one in particular; knowing himself, he would always be plagued by those insistent questions.

Before he could lose his determination to fear, Reid walked out of the room, informed the guard outside to tell Hotch and Morgan where he was going, and headed for the main office. Once there, he told them what he was there for and was somewhat reluctantly escorted to another room. Now Reid was standing outside of the room where supposedly _he _was. The profiler gulped, suddenly thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

The guard who had led him to this point had the same mind set as he did. "Uh, you sure you want to do this? Tobias is very unpredictable. Often times we can control when he reverts to Charles or Raphael but other times it's just impossible. Why exactly are you doing this anyways? Don't you and the other FBI agents have a date with Filcher?"

Reid nodded slightly. "Yeah we, uh, do but I have personal business with Mr. Hankel. I'd appreciate it if we were left alone and that we aren't interrupted." _What are you doing?! You just basically trapped yourself with a renowned serial killer who has it out for you!_

"Well we won't interrupt unless we have to." The guard interrupted Reid from his thoughts as he pulled out a set of keys and began to unlock the door. "We have Tobias restrained at the moment and he seems to be himself but his other personalities, especially his father, could return at any moment and cause some trouble. So I'd suggest you keep your distance and make your business quick. There'll be a few of us waiting nearby so yell when you're ready to go or if something goes wrong."

That last bit sent shivers down Reid's spine. "Uh…th-thank you. I appreciate it." Then with one final deep breath, Spencer collected his nerves and stepped into the room.

Reid cautiously entered and shut the door behind him. He took a moment to compose himself before turning around. The room he was in was something similar to an interrogation room at a police station: the only thing missing was the huge one-way looking glass against the wall by the door. However, there was still a table and a chair in the middle of the room with a prisoner handcuffed and restrained to both the table and the chair. Reid couldn't quite stop his breath from hitching at the sight of the familiar man in the chair: Tobias.

Upon his entry, Tobias looked up at Reid and stared at him. For a moment, neither of them said a word, both men merely taking in the other's form. Instantly Reid relied on his profiling skills to assess Tobias' current state; from what he could tell, Tobias apparently recognizes him and was somewhat surprised, fearful, and…relieved? Reid wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a good sign. Still not saying a word, Reid slowly made his way to the empty chair near the table across from Tobias and sat down.

After a moment or two of tense silence, Spencer finally spoke up. "Uh…h-hi Tobias. I-I'm not sure if you…remember me or not but-"

"You're that young man that my father and Raphael were convinced was a follower of Satan." Tobias lightly interrupted, appearing both uncomfortable and troubled. "H-How could I…not remember you?"

Tobias' voice was tentative, gentle, like how it always was. It was the same voice that offered Reid kindness, sympathy, and at times, sanctuary during his captivity. It was the same voice that tenderly coaxed him that the Dilaudid wasn't bad and that the pain will temporarily subside. It was the same one that tried to help Reid and was apologetic whenever the young man was subjected to punishments from his father. The young profiler's shoulders released a small amount of tension.

Reid bit his lower lip. "Yeah…I, um, am here with some members of my team to interview another…patient here and when I saw you, I, um, thought I should come."

"Why?" asked Tobias as a sad, faraway look came about him. "Why should you see me after… what happened? I-if I were you, I'd be glad to get away from my father and Raphael. They're-they're here you know." Tobias suddenly became anxious and his frightened eyes darted around the room, fearing that either of his personalities shall appear.

Reid became nervous at the prospect as well but pushed on. "I know. But they're not now, so we'll have some time to talk. How are you doing here?"

Tobias shifted slightly. "Ok, I guess. People around here are…not natural. Father says it's because they've been consumed by the Devil, but I've…gotten use to them I suppose. No one really bothers me but I know a lot of people who don't like my father or Raphael. Father often gets into fights. I get worried sometimes."

Spencer felt his heart constrict. "Do you, your father, and Raphael share a room together?"

Tobias nodded. "Yeah. Father's not too happy about it but Raphael doesn't seem to mind as long as we say our prayers every night."

Although Reid felt a bit uncomfortable by referring to Charles and Raphael as if they were real people, he had to go along with it-like how he did before. An involuntary shiver passed down Reid's spine. "Tobias, how often do you speak with your father and Raphael?"

Tobias shrugged. "Almost every day. Sometimes they leave me alone for a while; the most they've both been gone was for a few weeks, but they always come back. It's like I told you before, Father always finds me." Tobias looked at the floor, appearing sad and vulnerable like how he usually did.

Reid remembered that conversation all too well. He had tried to appeal to Tobias while held captive since he was fully aware that the man had a conscience, but it was futile; Tobias was just too afraid of his father. Even locked up in an institution Tobias was unable to escape his father's violent wrath. Spencer felt a twinge of pity for the man before him.

"How does your father treat you here?"

Tobias looked up to meet Reid's hazel eyes. "He-he punishes me if I'm bad, but he can't really do much with all the guards around. Whenever he tries to…hit me, someone always comes down and gives Father some medication. It calms him down and I'm left alone for a while.

Reid nodded thoughtfully. "What about Raphael?"

"Raphael doesn't talk with me much. He often preaches to everyone here about following God and tries to show them the way of the Lord. Sometimes I'm there to watch but other times I hear about it or he tells me later. Otherwise we don't talk much."

Reid nodded again. "Do the doctors give Raphael medicine too?"

Tobias nodded once but didn't say a word so Reid continued, "When they do, does he leave?"

"Yeah…I-I don't like it when they give _me_ medicine. It numbs me and calms me down and I don't…like it. It…reminds me of the Dilaudid, but it's not the same. It makes me miss it."

Reid couldn't help but jump slightly at that dreaded word. Tobias noticed the movement and inquired somewhat hopefully, "You-you wouldn't happen to have some on you, would you?"

"No." Reid automatically answered sharply. "I-I don't have any." _Not anymore, anyways._

Tobias didn't seem to comprehend the defensive tone Spencer used and looked genuinely confused. "You don't? But…I thought you liked it. It…made the pain go away, didn't it?"

Reid felt guilty. In the pit of his stomach, a tight know formed as Spencer thought of countless Narcotics Anonymous sessions he took to get clean and how many times he shamefully injected the drug within him when life became too much. "Yeah, it did…but it's not healthy. It did…horrible things to me. I…was addicted to it for a while." Reid wasn't sure why he told Tobias this, but it's not like he could take it back or deny it.

Tobias sympathetically inclined his head in understanding. "I know, I've been there. Do you still take it?"

Instantly Reid shook his head vigorously. "No! I've been clean for months now. I'm never going to touch that stuff again!"

Slightly startled by Reid's haste, Tobias cautiously nodded. "Oh, ok…well good for you, I guess. I kinda wish I had some myself. It'd make things easier. Everyday I'm told about what Father and Raphael did to those people and I feel bad. I could've stopped them if I was stronger."

Again, Reid felt bad for Tobias. After all, it's not like he consciously wanted to kill those people or even to torture him. It wasn't directly his fault. Reid found himself wishing that modern science would create a medication that would ultimately cure Tobias' dissociative personality disorder and possibly other mental disorders such as schizophrenia…

"I'm so sorry for what they've done to you." Tobias' soft voice tugged Reid from his thoughts. "I…don't even know where to begin…they were hurting you and yet I didn't do much…I-I wanted to help you, to save you but I…couldn't and I just-I'm so sorry." Tobias hung his head in shame and his tone conveyed that his apology was genuine.

Reid was momentarily at a loss for words. Tobias had just apologized to him. Never had this scenario ever crossed his mind yet it was happening right before him. Not once had Spencer even considered the possibility that he'd ever hear an apology from Tobias Hankel since he just assumed (and prayed) that he'd never see him again.

A jumbled mixture of emotions swam through Reid at the moment: compassion, sympathy, serenity, surprise, and…something else he couldn't really identify. And yet, he felt no disgust, anger, or animosity towards Tobias. He subconsciously knew he should, but he felt none of that. After all, whether or not he was in his right mind, Tobias _did_ kidnap and torture him for two days. Every minute he was captured, Reid was terrified for his life and was always attempting to figure out who Tobias currently was; the suspense of who would appear next would practically make him sick with fear and worry. Sure he was saved, but he had to struggle to overcome his addiction of Dilaudid because of how many times he was forcibly injected with it and it had given him a taste of numbing freedom.

Sure, Spencer had every right to feel hatred for the man before yet found himself unable to. Above all the emotions he was currently experiencing, pity and sympathy had the tighter hold.

Taking control of himself, Reid said, "Tobias." At the sound of his name, the man looked up, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. Reid felt a lump rise in his throat. "It-it's okay. It wasn't your fault. I-I don't blame you."

Tobias' eyes widened in surprise. "You-you don't?"

Reid nodded, stunned by the fact that he actually meant what he said.

"Honest? You really don't?" As Reid nodded again, a ray of light shone in Tobias' face. "You-you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that from you. I've thought of you so many times and felt guilty for what I couldn't do to help you. But I feel…better knowing that you don't blame me. Thank you for giving me that solace." Tobias smiled brightly, something that Reid realized he's never seen before. The only time Tobias ever really smiled in front of Reid was when he was giving his captive some water, but even then the smile was small and full of sadness and regret.

"Thank you for bringing me back to life that day." Reid mustered a small smile. "I-I wouldn't be here if you hadn't have saved me."

Tobias' smile grew more sentimental, completely understanding what Reid was referring to. "You're welcome…umm, err…gosh I-I don't even know your name." Tobias shrugged a bit apologetically.

Reid's facial expression softened. "My name is Spencer Reid."

"Spencer Reid," Tobias repeated the name thoughtfully. "That's a good Christian name. It…uh suits you."

"Thanks, I-"

"What the hell is going on here?!" Suddenly Tobias' facial expression went from calm and content to angry and agitated. Reid instantly jumped once Tobias spoke like that and his body grew cold. _Oh no, not him again!_ Almost immediately Reid knew that 'Charles' had come back.

_What are you staring at boy…You're a liar…Lying's a sin…The Devil knows how to read too…It's time to confess Spencer Reid…They're trying to silence my message…This ends now…Confess…He can't help you, he's weak…That's the Devil vacating your body. _That last memory caused Reid to flinch and he was seriously thinking of bolting the room, but his fear kept him immobilized.

Tobias returned and he looked petrified at his father's 'return'. "F-f-f-father! Y-you're here! I-" Suddenly Tobias' face twisted into the furious, raging Charles again, cutting him off.

"What's going on here, boy?!" Reid paled when the memories associated with that cold, hard voice slammed into him. "Are you talking with them devils again?!"

Tobias returned and immediately started trembling, doing his best not to cry in fear. "N-no! I-I wouldn't Father! I swear! I-I was just-" He desperately looked to Reid for help, but it turned out to be a mistake.

'Charles' came back and he noticed Reid's presence. The young man made a small squeak of terror when those hardened eyes fixated him with that callous stare. Then recognition dawned upon him. "You! I remember you, you damned devil! You're the Satan boy that was given to my son! What the hell are you doing here?! Trying to manipulate my son's weak mind again?!" 'Charles' unexpectedly slammed down hard on the table in front of him with his fists in spite of being in chains; Reid flinched and sprang up from his chair.

"N-no!" Reid made an attempt to calm the man and strived to keep the thin thread of control he had on his nerves. "I would n-never try to do that! Please, Mr. Hankel, I wasn't d-doing anything…I was only-"

"You're a liar!" 'Charles' slammed his chained fists down on the table again. "You were a liar before and you still are now! I know that heathens like you sin every goddamned day and you try to conform the weak! Well you can't conform me! I'm stronger than pathetic weaklings like my son and I'm sure as hell stronger than you! Do you hear me, boy?! DO YOU?!"

Reid's heart stopped in alarm and he attempted to retreat backwards, only for 'Charles' to reach out and firmly seize the younger man by the arm! Reid yelped in alarm and immediately tried to pull away; alas, 'Charles' was just too strong. All at once, Reid began to hyperventilate while he struggled to get loose and he felt nauseous and dizzy. _No. No. Not again! NO!_

'Charles's' hold tightened painfully on Reid, causing him to whimper both from pain and from desperation. "God will teach you a lesson on sinning, boy! You may have escaped punishment the first time, but that only makes things worse for you! He shall not have mercy on you and you will suffer before you die!"

Reid cried out in terror and renewed his efforts to get away. He pulled, he clawed, he lashed out, yet 'Charles' wouldn't relent. Where were the guards?! Didn't they say they would come the moment 'Charles' or 'Raphael' came back?! "No! Let me go! Please! Tobias! Where are you?! Please come back!"

"He's not gonna help a sinner like you! No one gives a damn anyway!" 'Charles' snarled at him as he drew him a bit closer.

Reid's vision began to blur from both tears and panic while he continued to struggle. Suddenly, he was aware that the door to the room had slammed open and several footsteps ran inside. Someone grabbed Reid by the shoulders and pulled him away from Tobias while another grabbed the other man and yanked him away from the young profiler.

As it turns out, Hotch was the one who held Reid while Morgan was the one who restrained Tobias. There were several guards in the room with them and they took over holding back Tobias. 'Charles' was letting loose a string of profanities while fighting hard against the guards. Two people who appeared to be doctors dashed into the room; one rolled up Tobias's sleeve and the other started to fill a needle with some sort of serum. Reid felt sick just looking at it and felt weak in the knees. It was only the fact that Hotch was holding onto him that prevented Reid from collapsing to the ground.

The 2nd doctor wordlessly pressed the needle into Tobias's arm and injected the medication. 'Charles' yelled in surprise and anger and immediately started fighting harder. The guards kept a firm grip on him as he slowly began to relax. Soon, Tobias only weakly struggled until he stopped fighting entirely. He sure as hell still looked pissed off, but he couldn't really do anything about it.

One by the one, the guards cautiously released Tobias and sat him back in the chair. Seeing that the situation is under control, the doctors and some of the guards left, leaving only Reid, Hotchner, Morgan, and two other guards in the room with Tobias.

Despite that 'Charles' was now under control, Reid couldn't stop himself from trembling as his heart raced. He clung to his arm that was recently seized while Hotch had a firm yet gentle hand on his shoulder. _It's okay…you're okay. He's not going to hurt you. You're okay._

"Reid, are you okay?" Spencer was taken out of his mental mantra when Hotchner spoke.

Slightly hesitating, he nodded, unable to speak at the moment.

Morgan looked at his friend with concern. "You sure?" When Reid nodded again, he adds, "Then let's get out of here." Hotch nodded and began to lead Reid out of the room.

Just as they approached the door, Reid took one last look at Tobias. By now, he was completely calm and he met Reid's gaze. Spencer's breath caught in his throat, but then he relaxed when he noticed that 'Charles's' usual heartless stare was gone and was replaced by apologetic, gentle eyes. _Tobias._

The two briefly stared at each other before Tobias said, "I'm sorry, Spencer. Really, I am. I'm so sorry." Then Reid saw no more of Tobias since the door was slammed shut behind him.

Once he and the others were out of the room, Reid released a breath he had unknowingly been holding. He did it; he talked with Tobias. He conversed with the man that tried to both kill him (indirectly) and save him. And he was briefly yelled at (once again) by 'Charles'. Reid was at least glad that 'Raphael' hadn't made an appearance; he would've had a panic attack then and there. How did he feel that moment? Well to be honest with himself, other than the lingering terror by 'Charles's' sudden interruption, he felt…relieved and…calm.

"Reid?" The young man looked to his boss. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Spencer nodded wordlessly.

"Man, what the hell were you thinking?!" Morgan sharply turned to frown at Reid, who flinched slightly at his friend's tone. "What on earth were you doing in there?!"

"Uh…" Reid was taken aback by Morgan's anger and was still somewhat in shock from earlier, so he was at a loss for words. "I was, err…talking."

Morgan rolled his eyes in frustration. "No shit you were talking! But do you even realize who you were talking to?!"

Before Reid could respond, Morgan did for him. "Tobias-freakin'-Hankel! Jesus Reid! You know fully well what that bastard's capable of and what he's done! What were you thinking?!"

_To tell the truth, I'm not really sure. I just…wanted to know. _Instead of voicing his thoughts, Reid just hung his head and murmured, "I'm sorry."

Before Morgan could continue snapping at Reid, Hotch cut in. "It's alright Reid. As long as he didn't hurt you." Hotch's stern eyes softened with concern for his subordinate.

Reid shook his head. "No he didn't. He just…startled me, that's all. Besides, it was only Tobias for a while until 'Charles'…came back."

Hotchner nodded his understanding. "I see. Err, Reid, what exactly had you hoped to accomplish with this?"

From the way Hotch and Morgan looked at him, Reid knew they weren't going to let this go. He sighed. "I was just…I mean I was curious. I, uh…wanted to know how he was doing and if he still…talked to his father and 'Raphael'."

Both of the other men studied Reid for a moment to see if he was lying or holding anything back. Deducing that he wasn't, they nodded thoughtfully, each in their own musings of the situation; Morgan even managed to calm down a bit.

"Alright." Hotch nodded again. "I guess you have your reasons, but Reid, don't do anything reckless like that again. And next time, tell us what you're doing so we'd have a chance to talk you out of it." The BAU unit chief gave a wry smile.

Reid returned it. "I'll see what happens _if _there's a next time."

Morgan grinned and playfully punched Reid's arm. "You'd better make sure there isn't a second time or else I'll take away your coffee for life! No more caffeine for you Pretty Boy!"

Reid looked appalled. "You wouldn't!"

"You know I would! And if I don't get to you, then Garcia will surely get you!"

The thought of Garcia getting ahold of him almost scared Reid worse than no more coffee. Instead of responding, Reid scowled, causing Morgan to laugh.

Hotch smiled at the two. "Alright you two, let's get out of here. With Filcher done with his interview, there's no need to stay here."

Morgan's grin faded as he nodded seriously. "Thank God! Let's get the hell out of here! This place gives me the creeps!"

Hotchner nodded. "I'll see that we catch the next available flight to Quantico." Everyone nodded their agreements and the three agents started walking out of the institution and were soon driving back to their hotel to pack.

While getting ready to leave, Reid mulled over the day's events. Well, he somehow managed to have a conversation with Tobias and come back completely stable, mentally and physically. Now that he talked with Tobias, Spencer felt a weight was lifted from him and that he was now able to breathe properly, better than he's had in a while. Something about seeing Tobias again sort of…released Reid. No matter how he intelligent he's considered, he couldn't seem to figure out how or why it did. So eventually, he just accepted it as it was.

Now that he knew what's been going on with Tobias, Reid felt relieved that his questions were answered and he was a bit proud of himself for confronting the trauma of what had happened to him. In all honesty, Reid was still concerned for Tobias yet was somewhat glad that his condition seemed to be improving. He frowned when he concluded that although this was the case, he doubted that Tobias would ever escape his father or 'Raphael'. The thought saddened him and Reid found himself silently hoping the best for the other man. He hoped that he might one day be rid of Charles's painful abuse and Raphael's persistent teachings.

Reid sighed to himself as he packed. Once again, he was aware that he shouldn't care about Tobias with all he's done to him, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe it was logic that told him that it was human nature to be naturally sympathetic or his own character that had him so concerned for the man, but it didn't really matter. What's done was done and that's all in the past now. Reid has learned to use experience to feel more empathy for victims in the cases the BAU undertake and it's taught him so much and made him a better person in the process.

Nodding to himself, Reid closed his suitcase and waited for Hotch and Morgan. It occurred to him that this will most likely be the last time he'll ever see Tobias again. Reid was surprised that the thought saddened him slightly; he wished there was some way he could help Tobias or even be there for him and give him someone else other than his personalities. Sure he was still terrified to death of 'Charles' and 'Raphael' but he couldn't bring himself to hate Tobias because of that. If anything he actually…_forgave_ Tobias for all he's done. Of course he'll never tell Hotch, Morgan, or even anyone else in the team about that. They just wouldn't understand.

So yes, Reid forgave Tobias; he wouldn't hold his captivity against him and he certainly held no ill-will against the man. Reid couldn't help but smile to himself. Finally, it was over. It was all over. After one year, three months, and three days later, Reid is now able to move on and breathe easier. He battled with Dilaudid and won; he overcame many hardships and came back stronger than ever; he faced Tobias after struggling with himself and he had the strength to forgive him. Reid now felt that he was ready for anything the world threw at him. He had survived hell and wasn't broken because of it.

When the BAU agents boarded the plane and made it back to Virginia, Reid went home that night feeling that something was different. Sure, everything was the same but it wasn't; Reid came back different. And when he went to sleep that night, he wasn't plagued by nightmares. Spencer slept peacefully, the horrors of his trauma pushed behind him, the itchy longing for that infernal drug far away from him. Speaking with Tobias had set him free; no matter what the future has for him, Reid was confident that he could handle it on his own.

The End

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**Okay so that's it. I hope it didn't suck too much. I hope you enjoyed it! :)**


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